January 10, 2009

Weekly (?) update-

ISS is over. I still have detention every morning until next quarter. I haven’t been seeing my friends a lot becauSE THEY LIVE IN DIFFERENT STATES NOW. I have, however, been reading and drawing and making enemies by driving into groups of people in the school parking lot. Currently playing Overlord, Half Life 2 and Fallout 3 (late. . . pass?). I also started a new game on Morrowind but I don’t play that too much anymore. Currently reading Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. Listening to Acid Bath’s When the Kite String Pops and High on Fire’s Death is This Communion, mostly. I have been and will be drinking every day until my Jameson and Gosling’s run out. No drugs. Lots of driving, lots of sleep, not at the same time. Hopefully getting the hell out tonight if the weather lets up, either seeing Brandon or whoever’s going to be at Dorn’s. Wrote this short essay for Physics:

“During our crash tests, our bronze chariot, the SS Bloodbath, performed as expected. It is a lead brick, a wall of sound, gravity didnt’ have a prayer. The final velocity alone, we knew, wouldn’t be enough to assault our portly passenger as the gosh darn thing wasn’t heavy enough. We didnt’ expect to get much use of the crumple zone, the force of impact wasn’t enough to send the back end flying into the front, it was .07 N. Nothing awe-inspiring. The vehicle was simply too light. It merely bounced off of the barricade like a party balloon.

As far as the results of the speed tests go, holy wow. We were blind-sided. A light, inefficiently-shaped mess of a vehicle vaguely resembling a third grade art project annihilated an army of elliptical speed demons built to cut through wind resistance like a hot knife through butter. However, we should have expected this. It is, after all, the SS Bloodbath. Names like that aren’t just given out, they’re earned. Our acceleration soared at a rate of .89 m/s squared. One thing’s for sure, when you’re aboard the SS Bloodbath, you’d better hang onto your balls.

We figure it worked this way. The Bloodbath is a tall object. The front end was, essentially, a square. “Doomed yourselves,” you may have thought, God knows we did–but this is where we went right: we packed the vehicle in such a way as to make the front end the heaviest section. This cooperated nicely with the ramps incline, coaxing the weight forward as the back end merely trailed behind like a parasitic twin. Think of it as a weight for a fishing lure. Triangle or cone-shaped weights don’t sink fast. Big hulking chunks of metal, however, do. This is the concept behind the Bloodbath.”

I think ol’ Teach will get a kick out of it. Uh, what else. . . hm. Nothing at all. I’m boring, go do something else.

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