I’m Not Against Plastic Surgery

April 24, 2008

Look what it did for that Simpson sluh. She’s adorable! She looks like she’s gonna come up behind you in the kitchen, tug on your skirt tail and ask politely for more plum pudding. I want to grab her cheeks and go WHO’S A GOOD BEBEEEE then knock back a few bottles of brandy and back-hand her across the face. She’ll crumple to the floor in betrayed anguish and yell MOMMY WHY and I’ll say DON’T YOU TALK TO ME YOU LITTLE SLUT and grab my cars keys and storm out the front door, slamming the screen door so hard it bounces back open and crashes against the wall. I will wake up the next morning in a ditch in the next town over with a homeless man named Earl wearing nothing but feetie pajamas


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: